Fitted Sheets

by Terry McLeish

Genre: Folk


Fitted Sheets

I got home from work walked through the door
The note said baby I don’t love you no more
I met a guy in the meat isle at the grocery store
And that was all she wrote.

Now I’m living all alone with a cat named Tom
In this three bedroom house with a big front lawn
Don’t have to say excuse me if I have to yawn
Cause there ain’t nobody here but me.

I’ve learned to do laundry and iron my shirts
Never knew that cleaning could be so much work
I’ve got a duster that dusts and a broom that sweeps
But I can’t fold these fitted sheets.

I’ve rode the washing machine like a cowboy might
Cause it’ll buck across the floor if you don’t load it right
I leave Kleenex in my pockets mix the darks with the whites
All the clothes in my closet are grey.

The woman next door is a divorcee
She brings me all kinds of food and advice for free
Says she’d like to get to know me, tries to sit on my knee
She’s got a tattoo on the cheek of her ass.

Chorus – Never knew that cooking could be so much work

My head was in the oven, I heard the screen door slam
It was my ex old lady with a brand new plan
She said I could be the woman, she could be the man
She likes her dinner on the table by six.

So if you’ve got a good woman try and do your share
Tell her that she’s pretty, show her that you care
Put the toilet seat down and try to be fair
Or you just might get demoted.

Chorus – Never knew that dating could be so much work

Chorus – Never knew that Thanksgiving could be so much work

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