Songwriter: Steve Eulberg & Jim Pierce
1. I was a rather lonely gent, just the right dose of pride
Not too tall, nor too skinny, Not too much to hide
I determined to find someone to sing the songs in my soul,
Find a mate, my better half, to make my world whole
I saw her ad in the paper
And I wrote my check right away
And sent it off into the mailbox
The very same day. Chorus
Mail-Order Bride, she was my Mail-Order Bride
My anticipatin' heart nearly busted open wide
When I / heard a honking horn from that brown truck parked outside
The moment I'd been waiting for had finally arrived
The day I opened up the box and saw her there inside
Is when I met and fell in love with my
6-String Mail Order Bride!
2. She was a real beauty, gently curving were her sides
Her neck was long & slender, her hips were flaring wide
I couldn't tell what she was feeling, she appeared reserved & shy
So I held my arms out to her & said, "Come on, let's try."
I cradled her to my bosom
Her body molded tight to mine
I brushed my fingers 'crossed her middle
I felt her come alive! Chorus
3. Since we were both unacquainted mine was a tender touch
The sound she made did guide me, she taught me, Oh!, so much.
My fingers ached a little but that didn't bother me
We grew ac/customed to each other as she sat upon my knee.
She was my Chorus
4. We sang just fine in private but soon there came that day
When I took her out in public my nerve slipped away
I looked at other couples and saw they looked so fine
The sound they made together made me doubt the worth of mine
A mere 40 dollars had brought her
From her birthplace right to my door
We hadn't ever really courted
I feared I didn't love her anymore. Chorus
5. So as some time passed by I grew more ashamed
Of my "bargain basement baby", my wildest dreams were tamed.
My life grew full and busy and I put her away.
From the corner where she stood in dust, she called to me one day.
She nestled close to my bosom
Her body shared its warmth with mine
As her strings tickled my fingers
Together we came alive! Chorus