Everybody’s Got Nipples

by Norm Sherman

Genre: Folk/Acoustic


Lots of different people all around the world, lots of different types of skin,
Lots of different types of governments, lots of different religions

Not everyone’s a Democrat, not everyone’s Republican
Not everyone’s a patriot, not everyone’s American
But that’s alright, I’ll tell you why,
Cause even though your face looks funny compared to mine-

Everybody’s got nipples
Everybody’s got two of them
Unless you maybe have a birth defect
Or had to surgically remove them

Everybody’s got nipples
Everybody’s got a pair of them
So maybe you and I can get along
Even if your not American

Well nipples vary greatly all around the world when you leave the United States,
Some nipples are smaller than a butterbean, some are bigger than dinner plates.
Some are dark and some are light, some are far apart and some are close by,
Some have hair and some are without, in some very rare cases they are inside out
It’s true, no reason to be brue,
If peripheral vision is impossible for you-

I heard about the nipples of the orient, that they all kind of look the same
And someone once told me that the nipples of the French are the color of a fine champagne.
I don’t know, but I’ve been told and I find it just a little iron-i-ca,
The nipples of the people that are Jewish I am told look like rosy little Yamulchas.
And the nipples of the Chinese are as fat as Buddha,
The nipples of the Dutch are the color of gouda,
The nipples of Mexicans leak kahlua,
The British have dandy little nipples on their hooters,
The nipples of the Hindus are blessed by Vishnu,
The nipples of Eskimo’s are shaped like snowshoes,
The nipples of bikers are covered in tattoos,
The nipples of ghosts are completely see-through,
The nipples of Canadians are boring and average,
The nipples of sharks are made of cartilage,
The nipples of women can produce a beverage
That is high is protein and polysorbic extras.

Not everyone’s a Democrat, not everyone’s Republican,
not everyone’s a patriot, not everyone’s American.
It don’t matter if your a pansy-ass liberal,
It don’t matter if you ride around on camels,
It don’t matter if you mutilate your genitals,
It don’t matter if your in a tribe of cannibals,
Cause baby, there’s no need to fight,
There’s still one little reason we should all unite-

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