Everyone’s In Love But You

by David Jaggard

Genre: Folk/Acoustic


You’ve really done it this time, now you’ve gone too far,
You wrecked your reputation and you totalled your car.
Your lady friend is on the phone to say you’re through,
Now everyone’s in love but you.

After seven bourbons it was all a blur,
You woke up in the mornin’ wonderin’ where you were.
You’re nowhere, ’cause she’s leavin’ you for someone new
Everyone’s in love but you.

Did you ever get the feelin’ that around the world
Every guy but you is goin’ with a gorgeous girl?
Well this ain’t just a feelin’, Jack, it’s stone cold true:
Everyone’s in love but you.

A most peculiar situation reigns today:
Every single person in the USA
Has someone for givin’ lovin’ and reception
But look in the mirror, you’ll see a glaring exception.

New Hampshire changed its motto to “Love free or try”,
Panhandlers down in Texas have what money can’t buy,
In Maryland they’re goin’ hoarse from sayin’ “I do”,
Everyone’s in love but you-know-who. . .

A recent global census counted everyone
In every single country down here under the sun
The total clearly shows beyond a shadow of doubt:
The number came out odd and you’re the odd one out.

The people down in Paraguay go out in pairs,
In Chile everybody’s havin’ hot affairs,
Brazil is goin’ nuts because they’ve all been matched,
Everyone but you’s attached.

In romance there’s a lot of English on the ball,
Australians get to first before they learn to crawl,
The French are tickled pink and sayin’ ooh-la-la,
Everyone’s in love but toi.

There’s Arabians stampeding down the bridal path,
There’s His ‘n’ Hers towels at every Turkish bath,
There’s Chinese skippin’ fire drills to meet for tea,
Everyone’s in love but yee.

The latest explorations into outer space
Prove that Planet Earth is not the only place
Inhabited by beings who seek lovin’ mates.
But don’t get your hopes up — they’ve all got dates.

They’re swappin’ rings on Saturn every Saturday night,
There’s couples on the moon, but they stay out of sight.
But they’re not on the shady side because they’re shy,
E. I. L. but Y.

If you can’t hold your liquor you just shouldn’t drink,
You should have had the sense to pour it down the sink.
Now your excuses won’t hold water and she won’t hold you
Admit that what I say is true:

Yeah, everyone’s in love, but
You just got the shove, you’re
Cryin’ in your brew, you’re
Really in a stew, you
Met your Waterloo when
She said “toodleoo”, your
Heart is broke in two, your
Hankie’s soakin’ through, your
Face is turnin’ blue, you’re
Regrettin’ your tattoo, you
Feel like residue from
Underneath a shoe, ’cause
Everyone and everybody
Everywhere, we made a study:
Everyone’s in love but Y. – O. – U.

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