Pear Shaped

by Andrew Kreider

Genre: Folk/Acoustic


You may have seen me looking
Mighty grumpy
On days when I put on
My suit and tie
That cut just doesn’t flatter
My circumference
My belly wants to jail-break
From inside.

My wife decided
On an intervention
She bought me threads
That fit more comfortably
She told me, you’re a winner
Don’t want you any thinner
Come on and hold that
Body close to me

I’m going pear-shaped
There’s more of me to love now
Praise the Lord.
I’m not afraid
Of being middle-aged
In fact, these are the
Best years of my life.

Some women like their
Men-folk mighty skinny
Some guys prefer their ladies
But those poor folks are missing
The best spots to start kissing
Cause getting curves is
Where the fun begins.

I’m going pear-shaped…

OK, my bits are spreading in the middle
Or shriveled like a grape
My banana split
Won’t make the girls go ape
But out of this great fruit bowl of life
I’ve got me a size that suits me right
Better than an apple
Better than an orange
Baby, I got a pear… shape

When I was younger
Didn’t know just what love was
Used to treat it
Like it was a race
But now I’m getting bigger
My pace is getting slower
And we’re enjoying
Every base.

I’m going pear-shaped…

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