by Brent Lopez
John Mayer, John Mayer, I need ten bottles of Bayer
After ten seconds of that stank guitar player, John Mayer
He ain’t a David sculpture, he’s a real pop vulture.
A loser by the name of John Mayer
I grew up on Metallica and Slayer
Now I’m stuck with John fuckin’ Mayer
Don’t get me wrong, I think all guitarists suck
But not as much as this Schmuck.
This bitch-ass takes it to another level
Sweet baby Jesus, I think we found the devil.
Berklee dropout, 2nd semester
Looks and sounds like a child molester.
Well you’re a pretty smart guy with a sly sense of wit
But you’re full of shit, so quit it.
I just want to know one thing, how come every time you sing
My dick shrivels up and my ears start to ring?
Sucking the blood out of everything good
If I could kill you with a chainsaw, I would.
You’re a retarded DMB, a shitty SRV
May you get HIV and die slowly.
Hell yeah I’m jealous, he’ll never get respect
But every time I say his name, he gets a fuckin’ cheque.